The Spared Self!
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. Gal. 2:20.
I promise with your help not to spare myself, Lord. How loathsome this self-saving is to You is clearly indicated in the words of Jesus to Peter. When Peter said to Him, “Perish the thought, Lord….This (the cross) shall never happen to you! (Matthew 16:22). Jesus turned very forcibly to him and said, “Out of my sight, Satan!” (v 23).
Self-pity is of Satan. I think I can see why, Lord. Self-pity is a wall of defense around the “self” in which the self is defended against anyone-including God. If Jesus had pitied Him-self He would have never gone to the cross. If I pity myself. I will never submit to the lethal principle of God’s will and, therefore, never become the means of life to others.
Self is like Ananias keeping back part of the money he has promised to give to the Lord (Acts 5:1-2). Self is forever telling me to keep back a part of myself. It considers total dedication to God a “waste” (Mark 14:4). In the language of Jesus’ bystanders, begged Him to come down from the cross and save Himself (Mark 15:30).
I must understand that self-pity is not the same as self-preservation. Accepting Jesus as my sin-bearer is self-preservation. Resting when I am tired and need a vacation is also a form of self-preservation.
However, there is no cure for self-pity except in death-spiritual death. And spiritual death comes to one who says yes to God in whatever He wants to do with him. It is impossible to say yes to God and still pity myself. It is my choice to make. When I say yes to Him, He responds with an almighty yes to me, and I rise from the death of crucifixion into newness of life.